Oh, the Social Anxiety.

It makes us QUIET when we’d love to say something, because we have all these negative thoughts about our communications skills, including:

1. I have nothing interesting to say.
2. Everyone will think I’m so boring.
3. I’d better not say anything- I might say something stupid and everyone will laugh.

(By the way, this is in both personal and professional life).

Then we have the total opposite:

Feeling the responsibility to make a small talk and fill in what we perceive as ‘awkward silences’.

This is when we feel pressured to make annoying small talk with people we know (less anxious) and people we don’t know (very anxious).

But do we really need to make a small talk?


Read it again.


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I’m not encouraging you to be rude and not respond to people’s well-meaning questions and genuine interest in you.

What I’m saying is this:

It’s OK to be silent in social situations.

As Social Anxieters, we will feel anxious when there are what we deem to be ‘awkward silences’.

We feel under pressure to fill them.

We then beat about the bush, say things we may regret- we’ll literally say anything, just to fill those silences in.

If this is you, next time you’re in this situation, practice the art of SILENCE.


We need to learn this skill and apply it to our lives.


Silence is an incredibly important life and communication skill.

When used correctly, it commands respect. It gives you the ability to remain assertive in situations.

I teach this skill during my Social Anxiety and Assertiveness programs. We learn, through theory and practice, how to use it, when to use it, why we’re using it and so on.

Interestingly, using the skill of silence correctly helps with Anxiety AND grows your confidence.

Silence + assertive communication skills= HEALTHY SELF- CONFIDENCE.

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