When you look at these styles, which one, do you think, is the most appropriate communication style?
If you’ve guessed ‘assertive’, you’re right!
Neither ‘Passive’ nor ‘Aggressive’ Communication style will get you the desired results and outcome, be it in personal or professional situations.
Passive communication can indicate the presence of social anxiety, low self-confidence, unhealed trauma, grief, low mood. If you use this communication style long-term, you may feel people no longer respect your boundaries, take you for granted and ‘use’ you.
Aggressive communication suggests impatience, high ‘idiot’ intolerance threshold, lack of empathy and sympathy, selfishness. You have one aim in mind- WIN, for the other party to LOSE. If you tend to react this way in the most of your daily communications, I strongly recommend reaching for help.
What can you do RIGHT NOW to COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY and create WIN – WIN SITUATIONS?
1. You’ve taken that first step today- you’re reading my article and you now have that ‘awareness’ of communication styles and which ones you’re using in which situations. Even if you can’t ‘change’ your style now, you are now aware;
2. Next time you’re in a situation where you KNOW what outcome you’d like, have that aim CLEARLY STATED in your mind. What do you want to achieve? Let’s say you’re going into your manager’s office for a yearly feedback. What do you want out of it? How will you communicate it?
3. With assertiveness, you should be thinking along the lines of:
“I won’t allow you to take advantage of me and I won’t attack you for being who you are.’
Write this statement down and carry it with you. Read it before important communications. It’s your immediate, positive affirmation.
5. Is there someone you admire, whether it’s at work or in your personal life? Do you look at that person and think, gosh, I wish I could be like him/ talk like him?
Chances are that person IS using the right communication styles. Look at what they do, what they say, in other words, ‘be like them’. There’s nothing wrong with modelling on others. Some people, especially CEOs, are lucky to have received in-depth corporate personal and professional self-development and these skills can be passed on to others who haven’t received that training.
Here is a fun way to look at it:
I offer professional, in-depth ‘Assertiveness Training’ if you feel you’d benefit from getting this right (and it’s so important, I’m sure you’d agree).
There are 2 ways to work with me on improving your communication skills:
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