In my latest article, I’m sharing with you my own *survival skills set* for when worry and stress hit during life’s ups and downs.
I may be a Psychotherapist and a Life Coach, BUT I’m also a chronic worrier and a Social Anxieter.
In fact, that’s why I got into therapy and coaching!
I may know all the tricks and methods to manage and control my Anxieties, but life always throws something unexpected at me.(well, at all of us).
And it’s during the times like this that I need to remind myself of everything I teach my clients to do.
(And I’m good at it, unsurprisingly, having followed my methology for many years).
But I wouldn’t be a human being if significant life’s transitions didn’t throw me a little.
What’s more, a tiny bit of stress is helpful– I believe it keeps my mind focused on the important things (like problem-solving).
Currently, I’m facing such transition in my personal life.
And my chronic worry system is alerted and wanting to spring into a cycle of worry.
NO. No No No.
The first feeling I had when I heard I had to make a significant life transition (even positive life transitions can bring worry and anxiety) was of being overwhelmed.
This is very normal for Anxiety sufferers.
Anxiety causes us to:
1. Over-Estimate the problem (or a ‘threat’);
2. And Under-Estimate our abilities to cope with it.
So here is what I’m doing to help myself COPE and not get overwhelmed:
1. I am DELEGATING all the tasks that I can, including turning to online food delivery and asking for help when and where I can;
2. I’m using my practical skills to cope with worry, for example:
WHAT is so worrying about this situation (especially when it’s for the better);
HOW to make it easier for (and ‘on’) myself;
WHEN can I do things (and what do I need to sacrifice);
WHY is it bothering me this much;
And WHERE can I make the all-important changes.
3. When Worry hits at night (and I think you all can probably relate to this- that annoying *chatterbox* turns on in our heads, endlessly planning ahead and coming up with ‘what ifs’), I am firm with myself to DEAL WITH MY QUESTIONS AND ‘WHAT IFS’ in the morning.
(I ALWAYS keep that promise to myself as I know MY BRAIN WON’T BELIEVE ME NEXT TIME if I don’t);
4. I am getting out my notepad out and WRITING DOWN WHAT I NEED TO DO every day.
This way, I may not have all the answers, but I may have PARTIAL ANSWERS, keeping in mind I CAN’T PREDICT WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN and therefore NOT WORRY ABOUT THINGS I CAN’T SOLVE.
My workshop *Understanding Worry* might be helpful here:
5. Lots of self-love. When I have a bad day, I look after myself, spoil myself and make sure my basic human needs are met. Good food, plenty of nice drinks (not alcohol), plenty of rest.
6. And most importantly:
I’m tackling SOLVABLE WORRIES head-on, using my Problem-Solving skills.
I’m STRICT with myself NOT TO worry about things I can’t solve l (like, is this the right decision?
Only time will tell- I’m doing the best I can for myself right now!)
Strangely, I thought I’d be busier than ever but having put all my problem-solving skills in place, I actually freed a lot of valuable time for my clients and family.
You may be thinking, it’s easy for her to cope like this when she’s got the tools to implement and help her through this.
But you can too.
During my *Mastery Of Worry* Program, I will guide you, step-by-step, into a worry-free world, even during tough life transitions:
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