I just delivered yet another Assertiveness Workshop and I’m feeling so pumped up!
Buzzing, in fact. The amount of self-confidence it instantly gives you is amazing. And yes, I’m talking as a Therapist | Coach. It’s not only beneficial for clients- I benefit, too.
So I’ve decided to give you my top tips (THAT WORK) on how to improve your Assertiveness Skills.
There are 9 simple steps that I follow (and teach):
1. Identify the situations you want to work on.
Think about how you normally deal with these situations. Do you normally deal with them in a passive or aggressive way? List these situations in order from easiest to hardest in an assertiveness hierarchy.
2. Identify any unhelpful thinking associated with these situations.
You may wish to re-watch my *6 ways on how to say no* workshop to identify beliefs you may have about being assertive:
3. Come up with a more assertive way of thinking about the situation (again, my video may help you);
4. Identify any unhelpful behavior you have been using when you have tried to do the task before.
Remember to look at both verbal and non-verbal behaviour.
5. Come up with a more helpful behaviour.
6. Rehearse what you are going to say and do.
It can be helpful sometimes to write down what you want to say.
7. Do the task you have identified.
8. Once you have done the task, praise yourself for what went well and then work out what you might want to improve on next time.
9. Keep practicing until you feel comfortable being assertive in this situation.
If you’d rather work with me on your Assertiveness skills (to get these steps absolutely right + receive Assertiveness handouts, including hierarchy), please visit:
*Questions? Do you need help with Assertiveness, Anxiety or Worry? Book a Complimentary Consultation:
Further articles you may like:
Is Happiness An Achievable Goal?
I'm currently seeing a young University client, who came to his first therapy session with me presenting with one goal: 'I just want to be happy.' Now, looking at this goal, how achievable and sustainable do you think this goal is? Think about it: 'I just want to be [...]
When To Get Help For Anxiety
Do I need therapy for my Anxiety? This is the question clients often ask before coming to therapy. The simple answer may be: Therapy should be a priority when your Anxiety is so crippling and debilitating, it makes your day-to-day life nearly impossible. But I strongly recommended seeking help [...]
Work Anxiety Symptoms
The number of people experiencing unhealthy anxiety at work is staggering. But what are the work anxiety symptoms to look out for? Unhealthy Work Anxiety is typically caused by: 1. Low self-esteem for various reasons; 2. Thinking you are going to be ‘found out’ that you’re not really fit [...]
Sleep & Anxiety- Or How To Bring Back Your Sleep Naturally
It is a well- known fact that the lack of sleep causes increase in anxiety and depression. But did you know that we’re making it worse by thinking we NEED to sleep, and if we don’t, we can’t function? These thoughts alone make anxiety about lack of sleep much worse than it [...]