9 Steps To Improving Your Assertiveness

I just delivered yet another Assertiveness Workshop and I’m feeling so pumped up!

Buzzing, in fact. The amount of self-confidence it instantly gives you is amazing.

So I’ve decided to give you my top tips (THAT WORK) on how to improve your Assertiveness Skills.

There are 9 simple steps that I follow (and teach):

1. Identify the situations you want to work on.

Think about how you normally deal with these situations. Do you normally deal with them in a passive or aggressive way? List these situations in order from easiest to hardest in an assertiveness hierarchy.

2. Identify any unhelpful thinking associated with these situations.

You may wish to re-watch my *6 ways on how to say no* workshop to identify beliefs you may have about being assertive:

Share This Article With Friends & Family

3. Come up with a more assertive way of thinking about the situation (again, my video may help you);

4. Identify any unhelpful behavior you have been using when you have tried to do the task before.

Remember to look at both verbal and non-verbal behaviour.

5. Come up with a more helpful behaviour. 

6. Rehearse what you are going to say and do.

It can be helpful sometimes to write down what you want to say.

7.  Do the task you have identified.

8.  Once you have done the task, praise yourself for what went well and then work out what you might want to improve on next time.

9. Keep practicing until you feel comfortable being assertive in this situation.

If you’d rather work with me on your Assertiveness skills (to get these steps absolutely right + receive Assertiveness handouts, including hierarchy), please visit:

Share This Article With Friends & Family

*Questions? Do you need help with Assertiveness, Anxiety or Worry? Book a Complimentary Consultation:

Contact Form:

Further articles you may like:

1709, 2021

How To Stop Worrying And Start Problem-Solving

Worrying Versus Problem-Solving: Many people believe that worrying and problem-solving are the same thing, and that worrying is very beneficial. It's called having 'positive beliefs about worry'. But the truth is, worrying and problem-solving are two very different things. In this article, we're going to [...]

908, 2021

Social Anxiety And Avoidance

Let's take a look at what avoidance is: Avoidance is a type of behaviour that helps us deal with uncomfortable or scary situations. While it's mostly observed in Social Anxiety sufferers, this type of behaviour is also common in Health Anxiety, GAD, OCD and many [...]

107, 2021

4 tips on how to get good nights’ sleep when you worry at night

Picture this: You come home after a long, hard day at work and you're looking forward to getting a good night's sleep. But as soon as you lie down, your mind starts to worry, wonder and overthink events to come and situations you're facing. You're lying there in [...]

606, 2021

Powerful Communication Styles That Get Us What We Want

How would you describe your communication skills? Would you say you're a chatterbox, you're quiet, somewhere in between? Until we become 'aware' of HOW we communicate, we tend to look at communication as means of getting what we want. In simplest terms, when we say something, we have a GOAL in mind. At [...]

1905, 2021

How To Readjust To Life After Lockdown When You Have Social Anxiety

We can finally look forward to easing of tough Coronavirus restrictions after a long, hard Covid pandemic. We can now do things we took for granted before Pandemic. But the easing of the restrictions isn't exciting for everyone - for those with social anxiety, life after lockdown can be [...]

Go to Top